Christmas is just around the corner...

My blog title says it all.

Well, almost all. My husband and I went shopping this weekend, along with approximately 2.1 million people in our neighboring city alone (which has a population of 55,224.) If you have a moment to tear yourself away from this blog and do the math, you will discover that this a ridiculous statement, not to mention an exaggeration of epic proportions. Not that I ever exaggerate.

Although it's impossible to cram that many people into one specific area, the impossible apparently happened this weekend.

The last time I saw this many warm, frantic, fast-paced moving bodies was during a trip to New York city. And that was just in the Times Square area alone. This Big Apple comparison again might be a bit of an exaggeration. One could say I am full of it. They would be right.

Moving along.

Well, we were prepared for a crowd, but we certainly were not prepared to go into battle. Pushing, shoving, mumbling and cursing under our breath. And that was just between my husband and I.

The hoards of people, well a lot of them anyway, behaved as though it was Christmas Eve. The clock ticking, their lists heavy in their sweaty hands, they plowed along, searching frantically for whatever it is one searches frantically for. (Pretty sure that last sentence is grammatically incorrect, but I'm still a bit traumatized from my weekend shopping experience. So English majors, cut me some slack.)

We had a list. We checked it twice. Truth be told, we checked it much more than twice. Some of the gift items on the list were easy to find. Others on the list had us dashing from store to store, in a one-horse open sleigh. Wow, that could be a serious infringement on copyright laws.

I'm not answering any questions until I talk to my lawyer.

For the most part, the crowds of people were polite. Cart bashing was followed by an 'excuse me' or the occasional 'I'm sorry'. Body slamming was followed by 'Oh my goodness, I do believe I've cracked a rib.' Other people were not so pleasant. These folks are easy to spot, if you're paying attention to such things. When describing Mr. or Ms. Crazed Shopper, their expressions betray them. Facial muscles twisted and tightened into frightening shapes. Dark, menancing eyes fixed on the task at hand, their bodies leaning forward in a purposeful, deadly pace.

Fortunately however, as I mentioned previously, most of the swarming shoppers remembered their manners.

Anyway, it finally dawned on me why there was such a mass exodus from homes and work to shopping malls. Counting this past weekend, there is only one more weekend to shop until the Big Day. No wonder  people were converging on stores and malls; Christmas is just around the corner.

We shoppers, who have learned that 'tis better to give than to receive', are running out of time. These last 12 days are going to zip by.

As we cross off the remaining items on our list, I would like to pass along this timely advice:

Turn the corner at your own risk...

That Crazed Shopper may just be lurking ahead.