Hey to all 7 of you who are following my blog: Happy New Year!
It has been exactly 365 days since we last celebrated this day, but this year is different.
We are all going to die.
Well, at least according to the ancient Mayans prediction of the apocalypse. Several hundred years ago, they predicted the apocalypse on this very date. With their 5,125 year old calendar resetting itself to 0.0.0.0. on this date, many are preparing for the worst. I know I am.
I am planning to live my life with reckless abandon. Here are a few examples of how I will be throwing caution to the wind:
* From this day forward, I am going to brush my teeth and leave the cap off the toothpaste. Sometimes.
* Once a week, I will treat my family to non-generic canned green beans.
* When my son throws dirty dishes in the sink rather than into the dishwasher, I will no longer remind him of the fact that this action is just the beginning of his slippery slope into a lifetime of slob hell.
* When I retrieve our mail each day, I will praise the junk-mail gods for filling the mailbox with such wonderfully frivolous material.
* I will treat myself by painstakingly separating the marshmallow bits from the annoying oats of Lucky Charms for a glorious bowl of sugary goodness. Wait a minute. I already do that.
* I will go through the 15 Items or Less lane with 16 items. And make eye contact with cashier.
* No longer will my inability to balance my checking/debit account ruin my day. I'll simply avoid keeping track of my expenses and use "ignorance is bliss" as my new mantra.
* I will drink my coffee black, like a real woman. Eeww. Forget that.
* I will keep my Christmas tree up indefinately. Damn, I never spell that word correctly.
* Whenever I blog, I'll will misspell words. On purpose.
Being such a wild and crazy woman, this is all I got so far. I'm sure there are more random, decadent activities I can perform during this year of our demise. But for now, I need a source of energy to drive my imagination.
I'm thinking a spontaneous trip to the grocery store for 16 boxes of Lucky Charms.
Purchasing them, of course, in my new 15 or Less Life in The Fast Lane.
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